DO YOU HAVE PLANS on Wednesday? No? Well, you do now: You’re going to The Famous Mysterious Actor Show! And if you do already have plans on Wednesday, guess what? They’ve been canceled! Which sucks and everything, and I’m sure you’re really disappointed—but hey, on the upside, now you can go to The Famous Mysterious Actor Show!

The reason I’m dictating/revising your social calendar: Not only will Wednesday’s Famous Mysterious Actor Show mark the long-awaited return of Portland’s beloved enfant terrible, but it’ll also mark the stage debut of The Warriors: Jailbreak’s creative team.

Yes: For some utterly bewildering reason, Famous’ wranglers decided to invite me and my partners in crime on The Warriors, Todd Herman and Herb Apon, onto the show as guests. As for what the show will contain, that’s all up to Famous, so I have no goddamn idea. But I’ll guess this much: There will be the Famous Mysterious Actor, and there will be comedy, and there will be rejoicing, and then Herb and Todd and I will stumble onstage and bring everything to a screeching halt. And then we will stumble offstage, and the comedy and rejoicing will resume. Also, there might be some discussion about candy bird dicks.

The details: The Famous Mysterious Actor Show on Wednesday, September 2 at 8 pm at Curious Comedy Theater (5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., Portland, Oregon). Tickets are $10 and are available here.

Pictured above: Artwork by Todd Herman, from Famous’ appearance on MySpace Dark Horse Presents.